Limbo

I found this scrawled on the sidewalk on my way through the side door into the Administration building at the University of Saskatchewan this week.

It's a little hard to read in the photograph.

15 years in Canada

$50 000 for a BA

$7 000 in immigration fees

6 residency applications

One three year marriage to my Canadian spouse

And I am left in limbo

future uncertain

status incomplete

Though I am unsure of my feelings, the impromptu poetry, this act of frustration, struck me. The weight of the word limbo. The resonance of the uncertain future. The literal action of walking on someone's efforts and its impermanence. It was important enough to someone to declare in a public place. It has meaning to them. And though I haven't experienced what the unknown author has experienced, there is worth in these words for me.

Raw honesty is easy when it's anonymous, isn't it?

The next day, I found my relationship was all but over. It's done but not closed and I find myself in a holding pattern, in limbo, my once-written future uncertain.

BUT... however uncertain, the future is still hopeful. I can hold the chalk. And I will write whatever I please. After all, I was at the Admin building for a reason - ordering my transcript from my BFA, getting things in order, paving the sidewalk.

And there is more possibility in this piece of paper than in any amount of tears washing away what was written in chalk.