Monday, August 16, 2010

Birth of the Life - 100

I disappeared for a while, lost amid the transitions.  I was hijacked, distracted, and more than a little intimidated by the idea of a hundredth post.   For 100,  I had no desire to write about the latest sweater (though I will), about gutting my closet like the victim of a Roman campaign, a fabulous little meal from a borrowed kitchen and the hands of student chefs (though I will), or relate another anecdote from my button story (but it's coming).  Nothing seemed right to me.  It's a milestone, albeit a somewhat arbitrary one, and I felt the need to mark it.  And after running into an extraordinary teacher today in one of my favourite art gallery/cafes, I had the moment where I figured it out.

There was a sessional lecturer in the Department of Drama that used to teach a theory on breaking down plays, scenes and monologues.  To absorb a piece, it needs to be broken into manageable chunks.  The Birth, The Life, and The Death.  Easily identifiable but still too large.  So you take it further and each chunk has its own Birth, Life, and Death.  The Birth of the Birth, The Life of the Death, and so on.

I'd been in a funk and now I find myself in a swirl of creation and transition, and running break-neck trying to catch up.
I am winding down at the best job I've ever had and winding up to a period of intensity and learning.
I am two weeks from 32.
I am 6 days from the first anniversary of CitricSugar.
I am 4 and a half months from becoming an aunt (and the word from the ultrasound today is Nephew!)
I am no longer who I was _____ (then, before, ago, earlier, once, yesterday).
I am a woman with curlers in her hair.

I am passing out of the Death of the Birth and into The Birth of the Life.

My life.  And I can't wait to get to it.  I had focussed too much on what was already behind me.  The conversation I'd had at the cafe sparked ideas in my brain and sitting in my car after on-campus errands, it struck me.  Time to redirect my attention and ABSORB.  Embrace the metamorphosis!  (Not to imply that I plan on waking up as a beetle tomorrow....  Kafka, anyone? No?)  This is a transformative time and like a photo taken in a mirror, it's tough to get the right perspective.  But it's possibilities that excite me.

I always become a little introspective and often maudlin around my birthday.  As odd as it is to say, one must always remember the future.

You never put curlers in your hair for the present.  :-)

Thank you for joining me for 100 posts of CitricSugar.  Soon, one hundred and one...
Much love, Carly


  1. Congrats on 100! No need to be maudlin about your birthday... just take it as another year of life, learning and adventure that you're lucky enough to partake of :) The curlers made me giggle heehee!

  2. Happy Birthdays Curly Top!
    The funks are hard to endure, but the post funk time is always wonderful. Can't wait to hear/read about your transformation and adventures.

  3. "You never put curlers in your hair for the present."
    how awesome is that line! congratulations on the big milestone(s)!

  4. Happy 100, and happy blogiversary, and happy birthday, lady! The funks happen, and sometimes they actually make the return-from-the-funk more exciting, don't you think?

  5. So very well put (as usual). You have so much ahead of you and this time of transformation is going to be very exciting. I LOVE reading your posts. Congratulation on the 100th post. I look forward to 100 more.

  6. i totally read the beetle story.

    congrats on 100, carly! and i always love the pics you post of yourself. they're the best.

    truly, the curler line is classic. love it. can I needlepoint that somewhere?

  7. Yay 100! I can't wait for the next 100 posts....

    I love your line 'I focused too much on what was already behind me.' When you put it like that, it's so obvious that it's silly to do that! But we all fall into that trap at times.

    LOVE the curlers!

  8. Happy birthday (soon) and happy blog-o-versary!

  9. 100!! That's fantastic! Congratulations... and don't be maudlin. Because I said so. MISSY.

    And please come gut my closet... it's in dire need of conquest. :D

  10. Happy 100 posts! And a belated Happy Birthday too!

  11. Happy Birthday (if I did the math right, it's today, right?)

    Happy 100th post too!

    Love the curler quote and photo!


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